SYNCroniCITY

The past few days I've been hanging out in the Motor City, reconnecting with friends.

I arrived on Tuesday, after having spent the morning in my physicians office undergoing the echocardiogram and what turned out to be a rather uncomfortable ultrasound of the kidney. I've decided that with my ultra sensitive tissue, to no longer be a guinea pig for the sake of training purposes.

My first stop was going to be my friend's house. We had big plans to have some girl time. At least dinner and good conversation. I've never driven from my town to hers, so I was going to use the Sync system in my Mercury for the first time for driving directions.

Now, about a year and a half ago, my professor had a linguist visit one of our classrooms. He went from student to student, having them repeat words and then telling them where they were from, based on their pronunciation of the words they spoke. When he had gotten to me, he had me repeat the words several times. As he stroked his chin, he had asked me if I had ever lived somewhere like Missouri.

Missouri?

No, I grew up in the Detroit area. This perplexed him. His being perplexed, perplexed me.

Which brings me back to the Sync system in my vehicle. When I tell it to call my friend in New Jersey, it dials my brother in Tennessee. After weeks of trying, I decided to be a smart ass and again ordered the system to phone Jersey Girl, but I said it in my best Jersey accent. Amazingly, it dialed her immediately.

So, as I leave for my trip, I stopped at McDonald's and picked up a cheeseburger and a Diet Coke. I was famished as my ultrasound had been a fasting test. I hop on the highway, push the button for the Sync and request "Services" and then CAREFULLY ask for "Directions". Our "conversation" goes something like this:

Sync: Please say the city and state.
Me: Ox-ford, Michigan
Sync: I think you said, Hartford, Michigan. Is that right?
Me: No.
Sync: Please say the city and state.
Me. Ox-ford, Michigan.
Sync: I think you said, Hartford, Michigan. Is that right?
Me. No.
Sync: I'm sorry. Please say the city and state.
Me. OX-FORD. MICH-I-GAN.
Sync: I think you said, Burton, Michigan. Is that right?

SERIOUSLY? WTF!!!

Exasperated, I tried again, but with the intention of making certain I didn't over pronunciate my words. Keep it like a casual conversation, right?

Sync: Please say the city and state.
Me: Oxford, Michigan.
Sync: I think you said, Reed City, Michigan. Is that right?
Me: NO!
Sync: I'm sorry. Please say the city and state.
Me: Oxford, Michigan (In a very pleasant Barbara Billingsly-type voice).
Sync: I think you said Oxford, Alabama.
Me: Alabama? NO! I didn't say Alabama!
Sync: Please say the city and state.

I finally pulled back the paper on my cheeseburger, took a huge bite and said,

Oxthfordmithiganomnomnomnom.

Sync: I think you said, Oxford, Michigan.

For feck's sake! Are you effin' kidding me?